Making A Doctor's Appointment 101

First of all, you need to allow a good 30 minutes of your time to make the call. The appointment making itself will take less than a minute, but getting TO the person who has the pencil and can write it on the calendar takes 21 minutes.

Next, memorize the phrase "Yes, I'll hold." because you will use that even more frequently than you will spell and re-spell your name to the incompetent secretary.

And, please make sure your name contains no letters that can (and will) be mistaken for something else. In other words, no M's, N's, S's, F's, T's, P's, B's, or D's. If you MUST have any of these letters, make sure your name is easy to understand and very common. Jennifer and Steve are fine examples. This will take up 7 minutes of your 30 min turn time.

When providing your address to re-enter yourself into their system since they apparently have a new one and misplaced you during the transition, make sure you know how to spell the abbreviation for boulevard, because they wont. The last 3 minutes will be used to translate your foreign address and reply with "No, thats all, thank you." and hang up.

The End.

How many??

I was driving home and realized I was speeding- so OUTLOUD, I said "Whoa, slow down... I'm ready to be home too."

TOO??? Who the crap else was I talking to?!?!

I think the left side was talking to the right side or something. That was really weird. I actually said "...what the heck? TOO? How many of me are there?" Thankfully, no one answered.

Adventures At Discount Tire

So once again, my powers of verbal communication have proven themselves worthless.

I get up early to go to Discount Tire today to fix my stupid tire. I walk in. Meanwhile, I'm a little uncomfortable and trying to think of words to explain the problem.
"Flat." would have sufficed. However, "flat" wasnt anywhere to be found in my vocabulary at that time of morning.

So yeah- I walk in. The guy says "Can I help you?"
I reply with something to the effect of "Tire." Followed by "I have a problem with it."

Success! I've arrived at a tire place and announced I have a tire issue. Yay me. Woohoo!

The poor guy looks at me and says "Well, you've come to the right place... what is it doing?"

I'm thinking "crap!" because I still couldnt come up with the word "flat." I did make a straight-line gesture with my hand though. I'm sure that helped. He started listing off things and I jumped when he said "is it going flat?" and gave him an enthusiastic "Yes!" - Tho I'm fairly certain it was a bit more aggressive sounding than it needed to be, but he got the idea. He mostly stayed out of the waiting room until my car was done and I could leave.

The guy that brought my car around and gave me my receipt for "$0.00" and told me they pulled a nail out of it.
Before I could stop my mouth, I said "Oh, WOW!" and then I kinda scrunched up my face in disgust at the note of amazement in it. You'd think I'd just watched him pull a rabbit out of his hat. I'm sure everyone at Discount Tire at Trinity Mills & Midway is sure I'm possessed.