Sometimes, you click on a website link at work, not thinking the it will be blocked, and it is.
But it usually gives you a category and kinda tells you why it was blocked.
Sometimes, it makes sense.
Sometimes, it says "Your request was denied because of its content categorization: "Art/Culture"
...and then I think to myself "Oh yes. Good thing you blocked that culture. I was almost educated."
Saturday
Friday
The Tug o' War
(aka Why Cousins Shouldnt Marry)
This morning, though starting a bit more slowly than most mornings (sometimes that pillow is just too persuasive!)- was a fairly ordinary morning. Nothing earth shattering to note. I got up, got dressed, did the "I have to pee dance" in the doorway of the bathroom while CJ finished up his morning get-ready-rituals... made coffee, got lunches together and walked out the door.
We climbed into the car, I drove around through the small apartment complex parking lot to the exit gate which borders a gas station. On the far end of the gas station (closest to me, furthest from the little convenience store), there is a big boxy metal air compressor thing for those pesky air-leaking tires... (or inflatable mattresses, pools and the like, I'd assume, if one were prepared enough to drag one to the gas station.)....At what I call "The Air Machine", there is a car parked.
Anyone who has ever had to use those noise boxes knows that its to your best advantage to position the car in such a way as to allow the tire that needs air to be in a somewhat close proximity to the Air Machine. This, however, works only in situations where only one tire, or one side of tires is needing air. Were you to need air in the right front tire and left rear tire, you are at a slight disadvantage, but its doable, nonetheless.
...unless you are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum- of which, both were standing at the Air Machine this morning.
Now, despite my desire to refer to the female at the Machine as Tweedle Dee (as it has a bit more of a feminine sound to it and is less degrading), I find that I would be lying to you (and subsequently to myself) if I did not acknowledge her far inferior brain capacity by calling her Tweedle Dum.
A young female and young male stood beside the car. Tweedle Dee (the male), was crouched beside Tire Number One- passenger side, front tire. I assume he was unscrewing the stupid, oddly placed, inexplicably difficult to maneauver little cap on the "Air Insert Place" on said tire.
Tweedle Dum (or, in this case, Tweedle Stupid), was pulling on the Air Machine Hose, slowly unraveling it in order to reach tire number One.
With feet firmly placed on the ground, as if she were stuck in dried cement- roughly 2 feet away from the Air machine box- Dum bent at the waist, reached as high and far as her tiny arms could and yanked. A few feet of hose stretched. Perhaps envisioning that the tire was much further away than it was, she again bent at the waist, reeeached out, grabbed the hose and yanked. To watch her, you'd think she was trying to pull a man on a slippery rope up over the side of a ship he'd just abandoned. There was far too much effort in those pulls than should have been necessary.
But that still wasnt enough.
Tweedle Dee, is working on airing up the tire.
Tweedle Dum is still yanking on the hose.
I pull out of the complex into traffic on the street that runs alongside the gas station, meaning I can still watch the show in progress.
Suddenly, its time to air up Tire Number Two: driver's side rear tire.
You cant get any further away on a car from Tire Number One- passenger front tire, to Tire Number Two- driver's rear tire. They are placed that way for a reason.
But its okay. Tweedle Dum has it under control.
Now, the Air Machine is really quite unhappy at this point. Dum is trying to rip its arm outta the socket and Dee isnt paying any attention. He just wants air in his tires.
Dum has it under control.
Left rear tire? I'm on it!
She marches, with a purpose, AROUND the front of the car, with her sights set on that rear tire. Nevermind the fact that the back end of the car is nearly completely lined up with the Air Machine and would have cut a 3 day, 2 night stay off her trip around the front...
Dum is walking at an angle as if fighting a strong wind, with the hose wrapped over her shoulder. Determination is set on her face. She is frustrated and cold and just wants to get in the dang car and go.
...that is when Air Machine says no.
Had that hose been made of a bungy cord, I am certain Dum would have ended up somewhere near the Texas/Oklahoma border... instead it merely stopped in its trek around the car, and paying in kind by giving a nice solid yank on Dum.
I mentioned the tug o' war game going on to CJ who replied with a hearty laugh and a "You saw that too?"
"Of course I did," I say. "I think it deserves a blog."
Last glance I shot their way as I turned the corner, Dee had taken the hose from Dum, walked back around the other side, and was busy filling up the driver side rear tire... with the hose comfortable resting on the ground, just beneath the rear bumper.
This morning, though starting a bit more slowly than most mornings (sometimes that pillow is just too persuasive!)- was a fairly ordinary morning. Nothing earth shattering to note. I got up, got dressed, did the "I have to pee dance" in the doorway of the bathroom while CJ finished up his morning get-ready-rituals... made coffee, got lunches together and walked out the door.
We climbed into the car, I drove around through the small apartment complex parking lot to the exit gate which borders a gas station. On the far end of the gas station (closest to me, furthest from the little convenience store), there is a big boxy metal air compressor thing for those pesky air-leaking tires... (or inflatable mattresses, pools and the like, I'd assume, if one were prepared enough to drag one to the gas station.)....At what I call "The Air Machine", there is a car parked.
Anyone who has ever had to use those noise boxes knows that its to your best advantage to position the car in such a way as to allow the tire that needs air to be in a somewhat close proximity to the Air Machine. This, however, works only in situations where only one tire, or one side of tires is needing air. Were you to need air in the right front tire and left rear tire, you are at a slight disadvantage, but its doable, nonetheless.
...unless you are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum- of which, both were standing at the Air Machine this morning.
Now, despite my desire to refer to the female at the Machine as Tweedle Dee (as it has a bit more of a feminine sound to it and is less degrading), I find that I would be lying to you (and subsequently to myself) if I did not acknowledge her far inferior brain capacity by calling her Tweedle Dum.
A young female and young male stood beside the car. Tweedle Dee (the male), was crouched beside Tire Number One- passenger side, front tire. I assume he was unscrewing the stupid, oddly placed, inexplicably difficult to maneauver little cap on the "Air Insert Place" on said tire.
Tweedle Dum (or, in this case, Tweedle Stupid), was pulling on the Air Machine Hose, slowly unraveling it in order to reach tire number One.
With feet firmly placed on the ground, as if she were stuck in dried cement- roughly 2 feet away from the Air machine box- Dum bent at the waist, reached as high and far as her tiny arms could and yanked. A few feet of hose stretched. Perhaps envisioning that the tire was much further away than it was, she again bent at the waist, reeeached out, grabbed the hose and yanked. To watch her, you'd think she was trying to pull a man on a slippery rope up over the side of a ship he'd just abandoned. There was far too much effort in those pulls than should have been necessary.
But that still wasnt enough.
Tweedle Dee, is working on airing up the tire.
Tweedle Dum is still yanking on the hose.
I pull out of the complex into traffic on the street that runs alongside the gas station, meaning I can still watch the show in progress.
Suddenly, its time to air up Tire Number Two: driver's side rear tire.
You cant get any further away on a car from Tire Number One- passenger front tire, to Tire Number Two- driver's rear tire. They are placed that way for a reason.
But its okay. Tweedle Dum has it under control.
Now, the Air Machine is really quite unhappy at this point. Dum is trying to rip its arm outta the socket and Dee isnt paying any attention. He just wants air in his tires.
Dum has it under control.
Left rear tire? I'm on it!
She marches, with a purpose, AROUND the front of the car, with her sights set on that rear tire. Nevermind the fact that the back end of the car is nearly completely lined up with the Air Machine and would have cut a 3 day, 2 night stay off her trip around the front...
Dum is walking at an angle as if fighting a strong wind, with the hose wrapped over her shoulder. Determination is set on her face. She is frustrated and cold and just wants to get in the dang car and go.
...that is when Air Machine says no.
Had that hose been made of a bungy cord, I am certain Dum would have ended up somewhere near the Texas/Oklahoma border... instead it merely stopped in its trek around the car, and paying in kind by giving a nice solid yank on Dum.
I mentioned the tug o' war game going on to CJ who replied with a hearty laugh and a "You saw that too?"
"Of course I did," I say. "I think it deserves a blog."
Last glance I shot their way as I turned the corner, Dee had taken the hose from Dum, walked back around the other side, and was busy filling up the driver side rear tire... with the hose comfortable resting on the ground, just beneath the rear bumper.
What I learned today:
1. The stupid person who decided to make tall corporate buildings out of shiny, light-reflective materials clearly designed them at night when the sun wasnt out. (number one cause of corneal flash burns in the U.S... for those of us that dont live near oceans or large quantities of snow... Look it up. Its a real thing!)
2. You can tell what the weather is like in Texas merely by counting the window-down-arm-hanging-out-floating-on-the-wind gestures going on. If there is more than one- the weather is nicer than it has been. If there are 12 in the immediate vicinity, the weather is phenomenal and you should join in on the fun.
(If in the event that while your window is down, a truck full of tattooed guys pulls up next to you in traffic and yells "hey!", the following steps should be taken: a.) Do not respond to the first "hey" as you wont realize they are talking to you. b.) Once you do notice that you are the one being "hey"ed at, then turn with a confused look on your face and say "...What?" back- or for the really daring, try barking. This generally stops all unnecessary conversation.)
3. If you nearly get run over by a man on foot who is racing out of a convenience store with his arms full of beer, not only a.) is he most likely stealing, but b.) saying "heeyyy..." out loud and pointing upon realization that he's stealing isnt a good idea, and c.) it takes longer than you'd think for your brain to finally understand whats going on- so anyone who says they know exactly what they'd do in a given situation is most likely lying.
(an additional note to women... How to Tell if the Guy Behind You In Line is Young and Stupid:He will, to his buddy, start remarking loudly about his friday night plans and attempt to sound responsible by saying "Yeah, but I cant get TOO trashed...I gotta get up in the morning." Do not justify his attempt to sound cool by even turning around. Pay for your whatevers, thank the cashier then wrinkle your nose at the boy as you say "Uh, excuse me." and squeeze past. You will nearly be able to hear his hopes and dreams crumble.)
1. The stupid person who decided to make tall corporate buildings out of shiny, light-reflective materials clearly designed them at night when the sun wasnt out. (number one cause of corneal flash burns in the U.S... for those of us that dont live near oceans or large quantities of snow... Look it up. Its a real thing!)
2. You can tell what the weather is like in Texas merely by counting the window-down-arm-hanging-out-floating-on-the-wind gestures going on. If there is more than one- the weather is nicer than it has been. If there are 12 in the immediate vicinity, the weather is phenomenal and you should join in on the fun.
(If in the event that while your window is down, a truck full of tattooed guys pulls up next to you in traffic and yells "hey!", the following steps should be taken: a.) Do not respond to the first "hey" as you wont realize they are talking to you. b.) Once you do notice that you are the one being "hey"ed at, then turn with a confused look on your face and say "...What?" back- or for the really daring, try barking. This generally stops all unnecessary conversation.)
3. If you nearly get run over by a man on foot who is racing out of a convenience store with his arms full of beer, not only a.) is he most likely stealing, but b.) saying "heeyyy..." out loud and pointing upon realization that he's stealing isnt a good idea, and c.) it takes longer than you'd think for your brain to finally understand whats going on- so anyone who says they know exactly what they'd do in a given situation is most likely lying.
(an additional note to women... How to Tell if the Guy Behind You In Line is Young and Stupid:He will, to his buddy, start remarking loudly about his friday night plans and attempt to sound responsible by saying "Yeah, but I cant get TOO trashed...I gotta get up in the morning." Do not justify his attempt to sound cool by even turning around. Pay for your whatevers, thank the cashier then wrinkle your nose at the boy as you say "Uh, excuse me." and squeeze past. You will nearly be able to hear his hopes and dreams crumble.)
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