Last night, I'm walking out to my car.
This is nothing new. I walk regularly and I've had a car for years. No excitement there.
There is a pink piece of paper shoved under my windsheild wipers. That is rarely a good sign...
I grab it. Its a "warning" for "no parking sticker" from one of the "security guards" where I work. (there is a reason these parts are in quotes. Dont judge me.)
So I throw it in the car, sit down and mumble to myself about how ohhh yess there IS a parking sticker! Its right th- hmmm... its not right there.
Thats when I remember. Oh yeah, it broke. So I kept the two pieces and would just slap 'em on the dashboard every day. However, I had forgotten to do that... for about 6 days in a row. I reach down to my "where I stick stuff" place beneath the a/c controls and taa-daa! ... wait, its not there. Crap.
I drive home, still fuming about the tag, since the company DOES have all vehicles on record and could have looked me up very easily. I park, I turn on the inside lights and search.No tag. Of course I'm being a smart *ss about it anyway to make myself feel better, since the "warning" was for not having a parking sticker and its very clearly NOT a sticker. There is no adhesive. Its plastic with a little hook for sticking on the rearview mirror.
Either way, not important.Its gone.
The next day (today) I walk into work, armed with what I feel is my wrongly-issued warning, and slap it down on the security desk.
"Can I help you?" one of the 2 men says to me.
"Yes. I got this warning on my car last night..."
"Uh-oh" he interjects, with a tone one might use with a toddler who just broke their crayola in half. (Mind you- I'd be WAY more upset about breaking a crayola than I was at getting a stupid pink illegible warning on my car.)... I felt my nose wrinkle up in the "do NOT use that tone" face, but I held it at bay.
I continued "...and I looked. My tag isnt there."
Then I stopped and made the wait-a-second- who-let-you-out-of-the-ward face. Something in my explanation and logic was seriously lacking. Had I just walked up to (potentially) the man/men that gave me the warning and basically admitted that they gave me the warning with good reason? Isnt that why I got the warning in the first place?
Would you walk into a police station and say "No, it wasnt a hit and run, I just didnt see him while I was driving." ??
I sighed and started over."It wasnt there, but its supposed to be."
I felt a smug smile tugging at the corners of my mouth before... wait. I did it again. I may as well have walked in and said "You gave me a warning with good reason and I applaud your powers of observation!"
Finally, the somewhat slower, but usually accurate part of my brain stepped up to say:
"...it wasnt there, but I THOUGHT it was..."
He gave me the "Ohhhh, sure you did" face and I wanted to scream. All the pieces were there inside me. I could feel them. But somehow, they wouldnt link up. The car. The mysteriously missing tag. My explanation. 'JUST ASK FOR A NEW ONE!' my brain shouted.
"I need a new one." she said, stating the obvious. One side of the evil brain cackled. I could feel the finger pointing and laughing already. The other side sighed and suggested I try again. I took a step back, inhaled, and stepped back up to the desk.
"Can I get a new one?" Taaa-daaa!!!
"Sure you can!" came a positive sounding voice from the other end of the desk. I turned to the (much) younger security guy and grinned. I liked him already.
"Whats your last name?"
"Nelson. N-E-L-S-O-N."
"Sorry?"
"Sari."
"Sorry Sari." (giggle)
ha and ha. *sigh* "Yeah. Thats me." Thanks mom and dad.
"Your hair is a different color than your picture."
"Yes, it is. It does that."
"Sometimes, being in the sun, the tags get brittle and break. Maybe it fell down." He said, offering a suggestion as to why I was retarded. I nodded. I knew that part already.
"Here ya go. I think the judge will dismiss this one." (a real comedian, this guy. I stopped liking him.)
I dropped half dropped/half threw the tag back at him and momentarily regretted the fingers I had rented. Cheap isnt always a good thing.
"No jail time, huh?" I mumbled, taking the tag again with a vice-like grip, sure not to drop it this time- probably resembling an angry chipmunk guarding an acorn, and scurried off, head down, back to the parking lot to put the stupid tag in the car.
After all that, I was 8 minutes late clocking in at my desk.
And now avoid the security desk as much as possible
